adolph nuttin up :)
The wedding dealie.
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Okay It is time to talk about a fun subject that will get us all closer together and throw off our political views and relieve some arguing for a little bit.
I want you to tell me about your views on how long two people should wait before they decide to wed lock. I have known friends who have gotten married within 3 months of knowing eachother. To me, it seems insane to jump into a life term commitment that quick but for some, it seems to work out. What do you think compells people to take such a large step after knowing eachother for such little time?? Age could be a key factor, yes? I am 30 and I never even been engaged. My longest relationship lasted for 3 1/2 years. My current girlfriend and I joke about our possibilities but we only known one another for 3 months. Because we are older, do we feel rushed? Hard to say, when so many other feelings are involved. But hell, that’s love, huh?
I remember after highschool, several of my classmates got married and started families within a year of graduating. That’s f*ckin’ nuts, man. One guy I know has been married 3 times and he’s a year younger than me. Crazy, man….
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Don’t do it Stuka…next thing you will be asking us is if you buy clothes from Baby Gap does that make you a sell out :D
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some interesting points SP.
I nearly got engaged to a couple of women. The one i’m with right now has been too short to be seriously considering getting engaged. Having said that, i have to admit that if i did not think it possible/likely to happen, i wouldn’t be with her. Still, i am afraid of rushing things because i too am getting older.
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lol
im not old enough yet 8)
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Birth School Work Death, stuka man.
Even for married folks making their 50th anniversary, life is short when compared to the afterlife.
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I dated my husband for 5 years before we got married and we didn’t once “have sexual relations” during that time.
However, that’s probably WAY longer then most people should wait.
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5 years……we didn’t once “have sexual relations” during that time.
:o F*CK THAT!!! JESUS, JEN, NOW I KNOW WHY YOU ARE THE WAY YOU ARE!
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@stuka:
5 years……we didn’t once “have sexual relations” during that time.
:o F*CK THAT!!! JESUS, JEN, NOW I KNOW WHY YOU ARE THE WAY YOU ARE!
Stuka man, why did you invite her to comment on this.I’m am just waiting for it now…
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hahahahaaheeheheheheheheehehheheheheehe…… sigh* … yeah.
I did everything I could to stop my hands from typing. I tried. I REALLY tried.
Ummmmm… nevermind, Jen. :)
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@cystic:
some interesting points SP.
I nearly got engaged to a couple of women. The one i’m with right now has been too short to be seriously considering getting engaged. Having said that, i have to admit that if i did not think it possible/likely to happen, i wouldn’t be with her. Still, i am afraid of rushing things because i too am getting older.
Well, I have this usual internal clock on it. If she can hit the 9 month mark (why 9, I am not sure), she is definitely marraige material.
……not to mention the sex must be good. Yet, if I been with her for 9 months, it damn well better be good.
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@stuka:
@cystic:
some interesting points SP.
I nearly got engaged to a couple of women. The one i’m with right now has been too short to be seriously considering getting engaged. Having said that, i have to admit that if i did not think it possible/likely to happen, i wouldn’t be with her. Still, i am afraid of rushing things because i too am getting older.
Well, I have this usual internal clock on it. If she can hit the 9 month mark (why 9, I am not sure), she is definitely marraige material.
……not to mention the sex must be good. Yet, if I been with her for 9 months, it damn well better be good.
ok i guess, but if it was me i would wait longer, then again im not thinking about getting married till im in my mid 20s or early 30s if im not lucky.
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Reasons never to get married:
(permanent girlfriend that lives in her own bedroom is just fine however)
1)Marrige is the #1 cause of Divorce…
2)The worst thing is to get married and have “children”… The primary reason is one of self serving interrests:having children because proves they have failed in life and want a second chance to set the record straight with another copy of failure. The second reason which applies to our more sucessful people is to transition wealth within the family. The last reason is primarily for ignorant people who assume that making kids will lead to being “taken care” in your old age which a mentality that you find in the pre-industrial age.
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If you read “civilization and its discontents” by Freud you will understand alot of how society and men and women should function.
check out this:
http://www.writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/50s/freud-civ.html -
Read anything by George Bernard Shaw as well. He will put things in perspective for you. Their is no specific play that i can refer you too, any reading of his works will leave a sentiment about marrige that is quite sour to say the least…
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IMO women drain the creative life from the man who strives to build and create great works for society. The womens focus generally tends to revolve the most mundane elements of life which toil the very life energy from the mans ability to forge ahead. This constant tug from our companion is a constant reminder that we have to make personal sacrifices of the very force of the supremacy of the “will” which must remain pure and never resign to medocrity. So by getting married… you lose your drive or “will” and soon abandon all your dreams in order to capitilate to anothers “will”. YOU surrender your life for that other person.
If that appeals to you then get married… If you want to be poor and married have kids…
BTW I have to add that i have been living with my Girlfriend since 1992 and I am able to maintain my own wealth (doing quite well) and sanity, because we only share time on Fridays, when she “offers” to tag along with my friends on any other day i simply remind her thats outside “what we do”. Yes i seem to behave like some gestapo agent, but we all have to follow orders like good Germans…
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We didn’t have sexual relations because it’s specifically laid out in the Bible as a sin. He and I both agreed on it, but at the time, we were both away from each other for extended periods of time, him in the Navy and myself away at college. So it really wasn’t as hard as you’d think…not like if we went on 5 dates a week, you know.
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We didn’t have sexual relations because it’s specifically laid out in the Bible as a sin. He and I both agreed on it, but at the time, we were both away from each other for extended periods of time, him in the Navy and myself away at college. So it really wasn’t as hard as you’d think…not like if we went on 5 dates a week, you know.
And there it is…thanks Stuka ;)
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What, I thought my comment pretty innoculous and civil, Hax. I didn’t place blame on anyone or make any assertations that others were wrong, I just said what we thought and why we thought it.
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Your comment was perfectly civil Jen, no question about that at all. But I had this sneaking feeling for some odd reason you would say you didn’t make with the hide teh pickle action because of religion and you proved me right.
Now I was going to sit here and say alot of things the bible says to do and NOT to do but you would brush those off so I won’t…but for what it’s worth if you really held out for 5 years of dating until you were married then more power to you, not too many people can hold that type of conviction any more.
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Your comment was perfectly civil Jen, no question about that at all. But I had this sneaking feeling for some odd reason you would say you didn’t make with the hide teh pickle action because of religion and you proved me right.
Now I was going to sit here and say alot of things the bible says to do and NOT to do but you would brush those off so I won’t…but for what it’s worth if you really held out for 5 years of dating until you were married then more power to you, not too many people can hold that type of conviction any more.
Oh. See I didn’t understand that you had assumed (correctly as it turns out) that I’d fall back on religion to justify my actions.
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well, my wife and i date for about 6 months and then i deploy to iraq. in the six months after i deployed we sent letters back and forth and i called when i could. we deceided that we would get married when i was home on mid-tour leave from iraq. my wife put together a wedding in 3 weeks. very impressive. we waited awhile. however…other army couples just get married for the money
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well, my wife and i date for about 6 months and then i deploy to iraq. in the six months after i deployed we sent letters back and forth and i called when i could. we deceided that we would get married when i was home on mid-tour leave from iraq. my wife put together a wedding in 3 weeks. very impressive. we waited awhile. however…other army couples just get married for the money
I’m sure that’s true, unfortunately, however, I hope (and personally force myself to believe) that this only happens in a very small percentage of the time.
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Actually, it’s alot more common than you think, Jen. But that’s just the way it happens to be. One of my cousins actually did that. I told him he was an idiot for it but he redeemed himself by making his marraige work and came closer to his wife.
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