Addition to "Happy Birthday America" Thread

[yourbuttocks]

What Crypt said about “President Moses” and “Prime Minister Crypt” [sic], by the time Moses is old enough to be President (35) the U.S. will probably have annexed Canada.

Canda wil probably be carved up into new states like “New America” and “New Washington” or “New California”. We really don’t have enough states which begin with new. How about “New North Dakota”

[TG Moses VI]

IF geographic fault line positions are correct, California will be split in two (one on land and one as island0. As first order of President, I will make New California 100% communist and Old California 100% Capitalist. Then we will see once and for all which is better :roll:

“annexed Canada.”

Polar Bears come from Canada.
Polar Bears eat people.
People live in America.
Therefore it is in my best intrest not to annex Canada. :wink:

[Yanny]

Hockey comes from Canada.
Americans suck at hockey
Therefore, it is in our best interest to Annex Canada.

[cystic crypt]

@Yanny:

Hockey comes from Canada.
Americans suck at hockey
Therefore, it is in our best interest to Annex Canada.

good beer comes from Canada,
crappy beer comes from America
American’s watch Jerry Springer
Therefore Americans tend to gravitate towards the lowest common denominator, so it would be in our best interest not to be annexed to America and have our markets flooded with their beer.
Although you’d have fewer drunken Canadians due to US beer’s lower EtOH content . . . .

[TG Moses VI]

“American’s watch Jerry Springer”

Hey, don’t diss Jerry Springer! That’s a good, wholesome entertainment! It’s fun for the whole family. :wink:

“Americans suck at hockey”

Hey, hey, hey. Who won the Stanley Cup this year? (Some of those players might be Canadian, but that just shows US is smart enough to buy off all the good players :P)

[Yanny]

TG, don’t talk about the NHL, 90% of the players are foreign :)

[TG Moses VI]

Hey, if you can’t fight them, buy them. :P

[cystic crypt]

@TG:

“American’s watch Jerry Springer”

Hey, don’t diss Jerry Springer! That’s a good, wholesome entertainment! It’s fun for the whole family. :wink:

especially when the family is sleeping around with other members of the family . . . incest is best . . . keep it in the family :oops:

“Americans suck at hockey”

Hey, hey, hey. Who won the Stanley Cup this year? (Some of those players might be Canadian, but that just shows US is smart enough to buy off all the good players :P)

Americans have the corporate boxes, larger tv viewing audiences, more money, and very effective scouting/drafting policies. And hey, it’s still a dreamland for foreign hockey players, irrespective of their ill-developed capitalistic regime . . . .;)

[cystic crypt]

btw - i’m sorry my initial post degenerated into being locked down . . . :oops:
It was fully intended to convey my best wishes to our neighbour - not to generate an international incident.
how embarrassing . . . give me one more chance Yanny . . . i’ll try to be good :wink:

[Yanny]

You guys should settle your issues the English way, over Tea :) Or, I’d love to see a modern duel (pistols? Hell, Grenades baby!)

[yourbuttocks]

No, Moses, you see Canada will be annexed by your predecessor in the oval office Chastity Bono.

[TG Moses VI]

“especially when the family is sleeping around with other members of the family . . . incest is best . . . keep it in the family”

Those topics are the best! Especially the one: “I slept with my long lost sister and I didn’t even know it!” or “My Mom is Hot!” Only in America… :wink: At least this makes my dysfunctional family look good. (which is what every American sitcom worth a damn is really about)
And Jerry’s Final Thoughts? Pure Genius! :lol:

“You guys should settle your issues the English way, over Tea Or, I’d love to see a modern duel (pistols? Hell, Grenades baby!)”

Yet another reason why we need shows like Jerry Springer! And those guys get paid for doing it! :D

“Sure, being a stripper will gain you all the money, freedom, and sex you’ll ever want, but is that what you really want? Is this worth losing your dignity and possible your own family over?” - Jerry’s Final Thoughts

[Yanny]

They should have duels on Jerry Springer :)

[TG Moses VI]

Yeah, but I doubt that. Ever since they barred fights on that show (damn Rosie O’Donnell and her activist), the show has why too much sex in it. Moses’ Iron Law #1: Every Jerry Springer show will have something about stripping, prostitution, or adultery. Or maybe even all three at once! :wink:

[yourbuttocks]

Isn’t that the way it already was?

[HortenFlyingWing]

Reminds me of that joke about the Canadian Aircraft carrier not willing to get out of the way of an American military position…on land!

[HortenFlyingWing]

"As for me, heck, I don’t really care, truth is I even rooted for Brazil. Now, do you see me purposely going out and say, in front of those German fans, “So what? No biggie.” No, that’s disrespectful, means a whole lot to them, and it kind of soils their celebration. That’s what I was talking about.

“No double standards against europeans !!!”

Who said anything about Europeans? If you from Canada or Mexico, I would still say, in front of our national holiday, keep your comments to yourself."

You said it!

America is always wrong, everything we do provokes ill feelings? Stop the double standard against America or we will pull men out of Bosnia! (Well, if you don’y exclude American servicement from the International court!)

[yourbuttocks]

I know what you mean Horten, we have like a 1,000 men defending Finland from the U.S.S.R.

[TG Moses VI]

“America is always wrong, everything we do provokes ill feelings? Stop the double standard against America or we will pull men out of Bosnia! (Well, if you don’y exclude American servicement from the International court!)”

Sorry, this was too funny and all too true to resist. :P I always get all this anti-American rhetoric about America being this overseer (which is in some sense true) run by George Bush or as Saddam would call him, “The Great Satan.” So why don’t we just pull all our enlisted servicemen from Europe and ship them home? (Well except for France, where we keep our secret CIA operatives [j/k] :wink:)

[yourbuttocks]

We have like 50,000 troops in Germany defending the Fulda gap. We should pull them back and use them for the invasion of Cana- erm I mean Iraq.