@Grigoriy:
LJ, are you a teacher? You remind me of my high school econ teacher, except funnier. :lol:
Been there. Done that. Twas great!
Substitute taught(seven years) 3rd grade through 12th(mostly 9th to 12th) from one-half day to over half a year in one case. Preferred 1-3 day assignments.
Usually cracked a joke to start the period.
I told them, “I will not put up with any trouble. If you want trouble I will give you a one-way, all-expenses-paid ticket to see the Vice Principal.”
My name is Mr. _______. I’ve been called(all sound like my name) Mr. ________(grocery item), Mr. __________(from a cat food commercial), Mr. _________(a sound most of Western culture hears daily), and Mr. _____(an animal.) If you come up with a creative variation you will receive a smile, a handshake and the name will be added to the aforementioned notables. (Never tried to talk down to them. Always tried to add a new word to their vocabulary.)
Took attendance leaving out the first name except when more than one had the same surname… "Miss. (Beverly) Adams",
“Here.”
"Mr. (Chris) Butler",
“Excuse me, sir, but I’m a girl.”)
_“Sorry!”_Always used male title if unsure as girls could handle the mistake better. Tried to catch names as kids talked coming in, even last names helped.
"Mr. (William) Cortez",
“Don’t call me Mr.! I go by WC.”
_“You call me Mr. _____. It’s a sign of respect. You are required by the school policy to addresss me that way and show me respect. I respect you enough to return that show of repect.
I know your first name, but we are not friends. When you graduate I hope to call you my friend and call you by your first name , letting you call me by my first name."
Mr. (Jamaal) Jackson,
“President!”
“I hope you strive to reach that goal.”
Not so much recognizing the humor as encouraging the student.
"Miss. (Hakinta) Nnorom",
“How did you know how to pronounce my name?”
“I went to school and paid attention, especially to those of other cultures and countries.”
"Miss. (Samantha) Roberts”,
“It’s Mrs. Roberts.”
_“Pardon me.”
"Okay, your assignment for class is _____. (If I could change it so I could work with them or have them work together I would.) Your homework is written on the board. Do your classwork first. I will circulate to see if you need help and are doing your work. If you are not doing your work I will assign more work to the entire class on your behalf( or on an individual basis if the teacher knew me and found this acceptable…most did.) If you get your classwork done you may choose to work on your homework, do something legal and morally acceptable quietly, or talk with a peer quietly. If you choose to talk quietly I may join your conversation."
Daggum, if they didn’t usually bust their humps to get the classwork done!
We talked about clothes, relationships, parents, teachers, premarital sex(within tight limits), what I had done in my life, why was I a substitute(One young man called me a “babysitter” and I replied, “I don’t see any babies.”), etc.
After 45 minutes some of the students would say, “I/We wish we had you for our teacher instead of ." I would tell them, "You would be just as sick of me as you are of__ after a few weeks.” (I didn’t believe that. I knew some of the teachers had taught the same thing the same way for about 20 years. The only thing different was the textbook.)
It’s been 17 years since I subbed and some of the “kids” still remember me.