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The new and improved Catholic Religion!


  • 2018 2017 2016 '11 Moderator

    Old Days >> New Days

    The House of God >> worship space.
    St. Mary’s Catholic Church >> St. Mary’s Catholic Community
    hymn >> song
    Holy Sacrifice of the Mass >> liturgical festivities
    sacred Host >> bread
    precious Blood >> wine
    Transubstantiation >> {huh???}
    priest >> presider or presbyter
    Bishop Smith >> Bishop Bob
    The Holy Father >> that bishop in Rome
    Our Father in Heaven >> Our Parent or legal guardian in heaven
    “…God and His love” >> “…God and God’s love”
    Son of God >> Child of God
    Our Lord Jesus Christ >> the Christ figure
    A. D. (Anno Domini) >> C. E. (Common Era)
    Our Lady of Guadalupe >> Our Woman of Guadalupe
    husband and wife >> partners
    shack-ups >> partners
    orthodoxy >> fundamentalism
    dissent, heresy >> creative fidelity
    sin >> alternative lifestyles
    Hell >> {Shhh!!!}
    May God Bless You >> Have a nice day.


  • 2007 AAR League

    i dont get it.  the church doesnt do those things.  or is it a joke about todays society and co-opting it into a  nonexistint but funny church policy?


  • 2018 2017 2016 '11 Moderator

    It’s a joke about how bad for a culture being politically correct is.



  • You forgot…

    I’m falling asleep>>>I’m praying
    I’m bored as hell>>> “Good service, Father”
    Molestation>>>Confession



  • A few others…

    Altar Boy >>>  Sex Toy
    $ Millions coming in >>>  $ Millions going out
    Fight the Crusades! >>>  Apologize for the Crusades


  • 2007 AAR League

    nothing to apologize for, but we should because it was violent.  we just tried to protect innocents from the hostile muslim invasion.

    millions in, millions out is true, but only b/c 1/2 of people are lying for big cash, and they do it in liberal cities with liberal juries.  its an immediate win, no proof needed.  kind of goes against our so called just system.  “i say that catholic abortion hating, gay marriage blocker is a abuser.  he abused me!”  “what proof do you have?”  “None.”    “well thats all i need to hear, he’s guilty”  easy as that.



  • @balungaloaf:

    nothing to apologize for, but we should because it was violent.  we just tried to protect innocents from the hostile muslim invasion.

    By going to war?  Doesn’t make sense.
    Neither does sending kids to fight.



  • This is an old one: Silly Catholics, dix aren’t for kids!


  • 2007 AAR League

    actually i havent heard that one!  :lol:

    its usually dix are for chicks



  • Anyone familiar with the Frank Zappa song “Catholic Girls”?

    :evil:


  • 2007 AAR League

    whatever it is about, its probably true.  catholic school girls put out for their catholic boys.  in hot uniforms also.



  • lol at the ads.



  • @balungaloaf:

    nothing to apologize for, but we should because it was violent.  we just tried to protect innocents from the hostile muslim invasion.

    millions in, millions out is true, but only b/c 1/2 of people are lying for big cash, and they do it in liberal cities with liberal juries.  its an immediate win, no proof needed.  kind of goes against our so called just system.  “i say that catholic abortion hating, gay marriage blocker is a abuser.  he abused me!”  “what proof do you have?”  “None.”    “well thats all i need to hear, he’s guilty”  easy as that.

    so this isn’t a “political thread” because it gives the moderators a chance to take a shot at the Catholic church?


  • 2007 AAR League

    Church and state are seperate so it cant be PD



  • @ncscswitch:

    Anyone familiar with the Frank Zappa song “Catholic Girls”?

    :evil:

    Of course, with their tiny little mustaches, you know how they go.

    @AJ:

    Church and state are seperate so it cant be PD

    Good call.



  • Church and state are separate?  Since when?  I think I missed the memo.



  • Oh yes Mr. Crayons, they have been for some time though the politicians always try to weasel their way into church in order to bag more votes.



  • Oh….thanks for clearing that up for me.


  • 2018 2017 2016 '11 Moderator

    Well, according to a letter that was written by Thomas Jefferson by a court eons later there’s separation of Church and State.

    According to the US Constitution there is no such statement.  Just restrictions placed on the state to prevent them from affecting the churches.


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