Tips needed for dealing with difficult player?



  • We have a player in our group who tends to get very…poor-sporty. They brag when they win (even minor, inconseqential victories), complain when they lose, and it drives us nuts, although we can’t play without them. Whenever a rule is clarified by the handy rulebook, if it helps their opponent, they complain, and scolds us when we get a rule confused. Is there anyway any of you experienced players have learned to make the game enjoyable for all, or should we play a different game entirely? We all love Axis and Allies, so I want to try and remedy this (I know we should talk to the player directly, but all hell would break loose at any accusation).


  • 2017 '16 '15 '14 '12

    kick her in the groin



  • @variance:

    kick her in the groin

    1. LMAO
    2. You astonish me with the fact that you guessed that it was a female. May I assume you have had similar problems?


  • Disciplinary Group Banned

    This post is so rich LOL!!!

    I have to send her my book of change LOL!!!


  • 2020 2019 2018 2017 '16

    Hi Schmidty and welcome to the forum.

    You probably already know that you have to do what I am about to say … which means perhaps it is not all that helpful! :oops:

    My suggestion is that you do talk to the lady in question. Calmly and matter of factly. No emotion on your side of the discussion. Give her a choice: change behavior or the rest of you will play games without her. That may mean not A&A until you find someone to replace her, but A&A is no fun with her as things are.

    I am not sure why you need her to play. A&A is one of the few games that is great with any number of players, right down to just two.

    Good luck. 🙂


  • 2020 2019 2018 2017

    It all boils down to this: I don’t put up with b.s., and I don’t put up with those that cause b.s. And if feelings get hurt, well that’s life.

    People only get away with handing you b.s. if you let them.

    -Midnight_Reaper


  • 2020 2019 2018 2017 '16 '15 '14 Customizer '13

    @Private:

    Hi Schmidty and welcome to the forum.

    You probably already know that you have to do what I am about to say … which means perhaps it is not all that helpful! :oops:

    My suggestion is that you do talk to the lady in question. Calmly and matter of factly. No emotion on your side of the discussion. Give her a choice: change behavior or the rest of you will play games without her. That may mean not A&A until you find someone to replace her, but A&A is no fun with her as things are.

    I am not sure why you need her to play. A&A is one of the few games that is great with any number of players, right down to just two.

    Good luck. 🙂

    Yes this is the way Id go too. She starts snapping then say Bye if she doesnt agree period.
    Good Luck


  • 2017 '16 '15

    Is this a serious question ? Or are you just messing with people ? : )

    I didn’t know my ex wife played axis and allies.

    If I had known, I would make sure she had access to plenty of alcohol while playing. That way when she doesn’t get her way she can really nut up and flip the board over. lol



  • @Schmidty1701:

    @variance:

    kick her in the groin

    1. LMAO
    2. You astonish me with the fact that you guessed that it was a female. May I assume you have had similar problems?

    Variance could probably tell by how you repeatedly used the singular “they” as if you were trying to hide the offending player’s gender. I’m guessing you didn’t want the fact that this person is a woman to skew anyone’s opinion on how to handle the situation.



  • @Mr_Tricorder:

    @Schmidty1701:

    @variance:

    kick her in the groin

    1. LMAO
    2. You astonish me with the fact that you guessed that it was a female. May I assume you have had similar problems?

    Variance could probably tell by how you repeatedly used the singular “they” as if you were trying to hide the offending player’s gender. I’m guessing you didn’t want the fact that this person is a woman to skew anyone’s opinion on how to handle the situation.

    You are correct. Our next game is tonight. We’ll see what happens when we (out group) brings this to her.



  • Axis and Allies is not for picky gamers of any sort.  Even the slightest issue can ruin the entire eight-hour experience.

    I have the advantage of many replacements on my side, so I don’t even give second chances to people that act wrongly.  I am not letting one person’s sour mood ruin the experience.  Seriously, we invest so much time and effort into this game and getting bad dice rolls is annoying enough.  Why add in more misery?

    Unless it is family or something, I advise you to tell her how it is, and if she does not change, say bye bye.

    I do have several family members who fit perfectly under this category.  Fortunately for me, they do not like Axis and Allies.  I know I am not the most influential person, but I have tried helping them for years, and they still act like five year olds when they lose.  Some people just don’t like competition.  I have found that only a few females really like to play Axis and Allies.  (You know, the adventurous, positive, video-gaming, taunting, tomboyish type.)

    One more note:  do you have a certain code of play?  For instance, those who forget the rules must suffer, dice falling off the table are invalid, you must finalize your purchases before moving, etc.  I find that low luck helps a lot of people who just get furious when their glorious plans go down in flames because of extreme dice results.  (I must confess, I am liable to keep telling people if they were lucky or not.)  Another thing you can do is consider giving people a second chance if they just can’t get a hold of the rules.  I often do this for new players and even go so far as to point out all their options.

    I hope you resolve the issue without too much trouble.  Keep in mind that the problem might be partially you as well.  So what if your opponent rolled well and is happy about that?  I usually use such opportunities to crack jokes.  “These guys were Vichy, that’s why they stink like rats from a Boche dungeon and roll sixes.”  It is all just fun and games anyway right?  Of course we don’t want to take the fun out of our games though…


  • 2020 2019 2018 2017 '16

    @Schmidty1701:

    Our next game is tonight. We’ll see what happens when we (out group) brings this to her.

    Good luck!


  • 2020 2019 2018 2017 '16 '15 '14 Customizer '13

    Is they gone ?  😄 :x :?


  • 2020 2019 2018 2017 '16 '15 '14 Customizer '13 '12 '11 '10

    @Charles:

    One more note:  do you have a certain code of play?  For instance, those who forget the rules must suffer, dice falling off the table are invalid, you must finalize your purchases before moving, etc.  I find that low luck helps a lot of people who just get furious when their glorious plans go down in flames because of extreme dice results.  (I must confess, I am liable to keep telling people if they were lucky or not.)  Another thing you can do is consider giving people a second chance if they just can’t get a hold of the rules.  I often do this for new players and even go so far as to point out all their options. […]  It is all just fun and games anyway right?  Of course we don’t want to take the fun out of our games though…

    These are good points.  There was another thread here recently which quoted the Genghis Khan-inspired line in the Conan the Barbarian movie “Crush enemies…see them driven before you…hear the lamentations of the women” – but that’s not how an evening of A&A (which should be played for fun) ought to go.  There’s a difference between being passionate about the game (which is good) and taking it so seriously that playing it stops being fun (which is bad).  And the rules of good sportsmanship are important too, because playing a board game face to face is an interactive social experience.  I once read a book on wargaming in which the author, a veteran of countless wargames, commented that the wargamers he plays with are all clever and healthily competitive people who will sometimes push to the limit what the rules of a game allow…but who will draw the line at actual cheating, and who would be horrified by the concept of winning a game in a dishonest way.  He said that this was the right perspective to have at the gaming table, and that it makes the experience more enjoyable for all concerned.


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