…meanwhile over at vance's house...

It’s been a long time since I played fortress america, but if I remember correctly,
Fortess america can have too much luck involved due to the order of the reinforment cards for America.

If you get a series of poor cards early or a good card too early (like the laser card), this may overcome any strong strategic moves you may have made.

I guess that’s just a built in characteristic of the game.

3 Friends who loved golf were on the golf course having a good time.  A storm came in and struck all 3 down with lightning killing them.

In the afterlife all 3 found themselves on a prestine golf course loaded with ducks.  A booming voice announced to them “Your reward for having lived such good lives is that you shall know heaven as being this golf course, the only rule here is that THALL SHALL NOT STEP ON THE DUCKS!”

One of the friends asked “why not”?

DO NOT QUESTION ME! - and suddenly God was gone.

A hundred years pass and the friends have a great time playing golf, but inevitably one accidently steps on a duck.  God Swoops down from the heavens with a hidiously ugly woman who he chains to the man and says “This is how you will spend the rest of eternity”.  And than they are gone.

The two remaining friends look at each other and say “Shit, DON’T STEP ON THE DUCKS!”

Being extra careful they play golf for a 1000 years, but unfortunately one of them does step on a duck.  God swoops down and grabs him up and chains him to a woman x1000 times worse than the first and says to him “this is how you will spend the rest of eternity!”

The last guy is paranoid as hell not to step on a duck.  10,000 years go by and he NEVER steps on a duck.  Still, God comes down and swoops him up.  But this time he chains him to the most drop dead, cum in your pants, hot girl you have ever seen - and than flies away.

Dumbfounded the guy tells the girl 'Wow, I don’t know what I did to deserve this".

She responds “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck”.

oh man, rough.  coming from nebraska, i can understand that pain.  never had the piss, but pig shit flying out onto your car aint fun either, but at least the smell was contained to outside the car.

@Nuclear:

This is old.  I saw it a year ago or so.  But either way it is still good.

same here

Wrath of Khan is not bad, but i prefer First Contact.The borg are scary and Borg Queen is the ultimate enemy!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/21/AR2005092102036.html

EXCERPT
Clinton seems to have found his role as facilitator-in-chief, urging us to give up our deadly national passivity(LJ Note : A Clinton trademark…no economic initiatives, no energy policy, no move on Osami bint Lami, no response but words to the first WTC attack[1993], a chicken run from Mogadeshu with only high tech low results battles/wars, including Yugoslopia, for the remainder of his term.) and start thinking things through for ourselves. Commandeering the role of government through civic action suddenly feels like a very empowering notion – the alternative being to find oneself stranded in a flood waving a shirt from a rooftop(LJ NOTE : Thanks to decades of Louisiana state and local Democrat misappropriation and mismanagement of Levy repair funds.)
…

The White House doesn’t seem to realize it yet, but we are entering a post-spin era in public life(LJ NOTE : The Clinspin machine geared up his last year in office. Recall/google the Clinton attempt at a Middleeast solution…Yassar turned down an offer of 98% of everything he wanted. Since Clinton’s Reaper Visit he has revved it up to CLINSPIN). The shift has long been underway in the business world, propelled by the Enron catastrophe and the collapse of the (LJ NOTE : CLINTON) dot-com bubble. Process, not perception(LJ NOTE : Sounds like the liberal classroom…“Process , not result,”) is king in boardrooms today. After so much corporate malfeasance it all got too dire to put up with fake CEOs anymore. (LJ NOTE : Google the timeline. The malfeasance was during the Clinton years, while the the cleanup occured during the W years.)
…

The irony is that no one would have believed that Clinton – the king of spin, who went out under a cloud of indecency five years ago – could climb back to such credibility. …he’s backlit now by his disciplined handling of the economy(LJ NOTE : A Republican US Congress held his feet to the fire and he trumpeted his accomplishment.), the unsought(LJ NOTE : Read as INCORRECT.) comparisons of how well FEMA used to perform under his watch and the enlightened(LJ Note : Last Chance! Redemption) nature of his global activism.
…

On Clinton’s face these days is a look of wry, judicious knowingness(LJ NOTE : William Jefferson Clinton will win an Academy Award. A feat never accomplished by Ronald Reagan[ http://www.reelclassics.com/Actors/Reagan/reagan.htm ].) It’s the look of political wisdom, and it imparted to his conference’s departing crowd something like serenity.
(LJ NOTE : He’s ba-acck!!)
END EXCERPT

artillery…king of battle. and death from afar

Still a good pic though! Now if they could show his cabinet as the the RING WRAITHS that would be cool!