The 213 things I am no longer allowed to do in the US army

  • If you guys havent read this list it is hilarious!!!  :lol:
    Here are a few of my favorites in no particular order.

    Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer
    Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me
    Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don’t like to War Criminal posters
    May no longer perform my now (in)famous “Barbie Girl Dance” while on duty
    Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions
    Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post
    Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once
    “Napalm sticks to kids” is not a motivational phrase
    Not allowed to trade military equipment for “magic beans”
    Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours
    Not allowed to quote “Dr Seuss” on military operations
    Not allowed to yell “Take that Cobra” at the rifle range
    Not allowed to quote “Full Metal Jacket “ at the rifle range
    An order to “Put Kiwi on my boots” does not involve fruit
    An order to “Make my Boots black and shiny” does not involve electrical tape
    May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on duty
    May not wear gimp mask while on duty
    May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance
    Must not use military vehicles to “Squish” things
    If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it

    The list goes on and is one of the funniest things I have ever read, link below

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